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VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC "Austrian Dukes of Derangement" [XKR026]

AXRADKTVA: VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC

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How did we get in touch?

When we announced the ill-fated Lille WinterFest, the follow-up to our Lille Winter GrindFest first festival, an unknown Austrian band with a weird name, “Vaginal Penetration of an Amelus with a Musty Carrot“, got in touch and asked if they could be on the bill. I stream their stuff and my first reaction was “what the fuck!?!“.

Came out of absolutely nowhere, that band had everything one needs to become really cult within its scene: those unique “piglet” vocals, the hate-filled concept, the shocking titles and artworks, a fetish for playing the most remote places on Earth and whatnot… it was obvious they had to play the festival. We were in touch.

VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC live in the Vatican

How did we deal?

When we had to finally cancel the festival, they had their debut EP recorded and, seeing the label was launching with a first release by GRONIBARD announced, they asked if I would be into releasing it and… that’s how we came to a deal.

In Involuntary Abortion We Trust

Limited to 500 copies and released in May of 2012, VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC‘s debut EP immediately caught the attention of the press… which totally hated it but started spreading the word about it, like with this Metal Sucks post.

With its shocking title, concept, artwork and the guest vocals by ex-LAST DAYS OF HUMANITY / S.M.E.S. singer Erwin DE GROOT, it got soldout in a snap and, to this day, the “Slushy Baby Chainsaw Assuck” T-shirt that got released along the EP iremains our best-selling piece of merch. ever!

Size matters, as it seems

Like for UNSU’s “The Filthy“, one of our previous releases, that had a DOUCHEBAG Records logo on the back cover to thank label-owner Sboek for the cooperation (we “co-signed” the band: KAOTOXIN would release their CDs and DOUCHEBAG Records their vinyls), the sole print of “In Involuntary Abortion We Trust” has a (very) small PUTRID ATTITUDE Records logo on the back cover as, in order to help fund the release, I offered Deud, the label owner, to buy a hundred copies at cost price and he agreed.

Yet, it was clear for both labels and the artists it was a 100% KAOTOXIN release. But, when the CD came out, it appeared the logo was really small (even if the exact same size than the DOUCHEBAG logo on the UNSU EP) and the word started to spread KAOTOXIN had ripped-off PUTRID ATTITUDE not mentioning them as a co-producer and / or doing everything to hide PUTRID ATTITUDE’s involvement in the release.

A shitstorm ensued through comments on social networks from people I didn’t know but seemingly felt like it was something soooo important to them… but, when getting in touch with Deud himself, even if sad about the logo’s size, he always confirmed it’s never been a problem to him.

I never knew how this transformed from one being sad about something to unknown people insulting the label but I guess that any scene is like the general population: it has its share of idiots that would transform anything into a drama, spread rumors and talk shit without knowing shit about anything they’re talking of…

Too Gore for Your Store

When we signed a distribution deal with SEASON OF MIST (first, they told us they had no problem at all with whatever our releases, their artworks or lyrics but, given they would put them in brick and mortar records stores, it’d be better hiding of those artworks with stickers to avoid any kind of problem. That’s how our “censorship” sticker “Too Gore for Your Store” got created. To this day, we only had to use it three times: for that VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC EP, their split with TxPxF and the debut DEFECAL OF GERBE album, “Mothershit“.

Embryo Orgasm

Even though really hardcore videos by the likes of CATTLE DECAPITATION or CEPHALIC CARNAGE among others are available on YouTube, however hard we’d try figuring out how we could have and keep VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC‘s “Embryo Orgasm” music video online on the platform has always failed…

Within one hour post upload, it already had 40000+ views… and got flagged like a million times even if, sincerely, it’s more fun than really shocking… but major platforms all come from a PC-plagued country, the video got deleted by YouTube in no time…

We later reuploaded it and the whole channel got banned for days. Lesson learnt: it’s now on Vimeo, has always been and has never been a problem for the platform. Thanks to them!

Snuff Fetish Infection

With the success that was “In Involuntary Abortion We Trust“, I offered VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC to do somekind of mini-tour with label mates INFECTED SOCIETY and Nydoom of ANAL PENETRATION which I met when he played our first festival and, in order for the bands to have something new to promote during the tour, we agreed on releasing a 3-way split: “Snuff Fetish Infection” was a go.

INFECTED SOCIETY and ANAL PENETRATION recorded new stuff and VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC featured some live tracks. Nico “Poup’s” of UNDEAD KREATION, already responsible for the artwork of SAVAGE ANNIHILATION’s debut, “Cannibalisme, hérésie et autres sauvageries“, did the artwork.

Artwork was supposed to be both gore, violent and porn in order to reflect all three bands’ “imagery” and that’s how he came with that fat woman at the gynecologist with a ton of blood flowing from her cunt to form the title, molesting her child meanwhile. The ones from you that had a closer look at it might have noticed the portrait of Queen Elizabeth II we added as a wink to the British fans as most of the tour was in UK. Like Natachatte previously did on a boob of the silhouette pinup on GRONIBARD’s “Satanic Tning Club Turbo!“, Poup’s also added a “chaostar” tattoo (the then KAOTOXIN logo) on the woman’s breast.

All on the same boat… or not

The tour was starting in London, so the idea was INFECTED SOCIETY and ANAL PENETRATION gather in Lille (FR) to embark in the van while VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC would take the plane and land in London where everybody would meet. This meant free seats in the van for the Lille to London trip and I decided I’d take this opportunity to embark with them and go to the London gig, come back to Lille the next day. There was still seats left, so I offered ROCK HARD journalist Arno STROBL to come with us and write a little something about the gig or tour in the magazine.

Once arrived at the seaport border in Dunkerque where we were we had a border check before embarking on the ferry boat to cross the channel, Arno figured out he had forgotten his ID card and that’s how we ended being driven out of the seaport by UK custom guards guns in hands…

Thankfully, there was enough time left for our driver, Nicolas FOUBERT of BONES BRIGADE Records, to drop Arno and me at the nearest train station and catch the next boat. The tour did well, but, for Arno and me, it was just getting up early in the morning, going to Dunkerque in a van and, right upon arrival, going back to Lille by train, being back home by noon at the very surprise of my girlfriend!

The cassette got soldout in within days and when, in 2015, we had a free slot after a release (which I don’t remember) got cancelled, we decided to release the split on CD for larger audience.

A Fairytale Full of Apotemnophiliac Moments

TEEN PUSSY FUCKERS & VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC "A Fairytale Full of Apotemnophiliac Moments"
Val, the girl about which is the TxPxF song “Whor(e)shipping Val’s Ass” and her copy of the split.

When, early 2014, VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC told me they had a new split ready and they’d team with Mexico’s TxPxF (aka “Teen Pussy Fuckers“), little did I know that I would embark in quite a brainache that would last for monthes…

Two ears, one channel

First, I figured out the TxPxF recording is… in… mono… Yes, “mono”, like in ’50s… in 2014… and when telling them, John PIGTAILS’ sole answer would be “that’s how we’ve always been recording“, go figure…

Being in touch with TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION’s Dan O’HARE who produced BRUTAL TRUTH’s “Evolution in One Take” and having worked with him for the mastering of “Snuff Fetish Infection” and our “In Grindo Veritas” Grindcoree compilation, I asked him if we could arrange that and he came out with that “pseudo-stereo” version that’s on the actual CD, saving the release because TxPxF‘s part was quite cool and a lot of fun and they wouldn’t re-record it at all.

What You See Is What… You’ll Never Get

With such a provoking artwork that features gore stuff at the top for VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC and porn stuff for TxPxF at the bottom of the front cover, that was obvious we would have to use our now famous “Too Gore for Your Store” sticker again… I was ready for that… but no factory was as it seems as none of them, NONE of all the ones I gave it a try, would even print the booklet. Not. At all. None. Never.

That lasted for monthes: one was ok, but once asked, their lawyer would say they can’t. Anotehr would do it with “no problem!“, but once the files sent finally figured out it was impossible for them, etc. Dozens of them got asked, none would do it until I gave some online printing website a try and ordered 1000 booklets while getting the CDs done and shipped our way with an other, censored, booklet version meanwhile.

I got lucky finding one of those websites that would do everything automatically, getting the files from an upload, sending them directly into the printing machine wihtout even checking what they would print and, I guess, packing everything on some automated line of production for shipping. That’s how we finally got those infamous booklets printed and we had to manually insert them all in the CD boxes.

Of course, even if fully-automated, the printing company nevertheless saw one of those booklets or our files afterwards and told us they wouldn’t accept any of our orders in the future, of course. Which was total bullshit as we just created another account with another email and still order them!

It’s also worth mentioning that, given all the censorship problems we had with the music video, the CD has it as a bonus CD-ROM track in case Vimeo would have deleted it before the release.

Fuck Off

Along with the split, we released a new VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC T-shirt with the band logo on the front and “Fuck Off” in different languages on the back. It’s been a big success with its rotten green print on black textile but, when we decided to reprint it for the Xth time, we wanted something “fresh” for it and went for a “piss yellow on shit brown” version. Sadly, the factory fucked it all and printed a green on brown version that’s terrible and got given away. If you have one, consider yourself lucky: it’s a collector!

We have plans for the future for this T-shirt as once that current “yellow on black” print will be soldout, we’ll consider having a “menstrual” version printed bordeaux/ burgundy on red textile as a wink to the above TxPxF song “Menstruation is the Best Lubrication“. How classy?!?

Austrian Dukes of Derangement

It wasn’t before five long years spent playing such remote places as Monaco or Krighizistan (for real!), VxPxOxAxAxWxAxLxC would finally get back to me with two new songs and an instrumental track they didn’t have vocals for… That’s how they are!

At first, the idea was to release the two songs as a split with some African band at first, but it was really bad even if buzzing at the time (I don’t remember the band, you’ll have to ask VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC). I consequently asked them for other options. I think a Japanese band got considered at some point but I don’t remember why it got discarded and then a Polish band that had quite some expectations and we didn’t find an agreement.

Finally, we were left with those two songs and a half and a GRONIBARD cover the band had recorded years ago for a mini-tribute I wanted to release as a 3″ split CD titled “Minibard” with them, PULMONARY FIBROSIS (who ended using their cover for another release) and DEFECAL OF GERBE (who never recorded theirs) which never happened since KAOTOXIN had to close late 2016.

Given how long since the band didn’t release something of their own, we decided it would be released as one of their EPs and they came with the idea of using the instrumental track as a contest for which people would record vocals and we would choose our favorite version and feature it on their next release, as a bonus.

As they knew DEFECAL OF GERBE since they toured UK together years ago and XENOKORP had just released their debut, I asked them to also record vocals for the instrumental track. That’s how the collaboration came together for the “DoG-y Style Version” of “Gang-Raped Acranius”.

Fundetails about the EP? Alright… Layout has been done by… OTARGOS bassist Emmanuel PLISZKE… somewhat extremely different from what he’s used to, style-wise, and if you pay attention, there’s a (musty) carrot hidden somewhere, at the bottom right, I believe, of the front cover. Also, given the band didn’t have a real up-to-date band picture at the time of doing the layout, we decided to use selfies they’d take and use them in frames like ’90s Black Metal bands were all doing back in the day.

The EP went through several title changes, including many Austrian-related stuff in German / Austrian nobody would have understood and we finally agreed on “Austrian Dukes of Derangement” even though, instead of “Dukes” my vote was going to “Emperors” to emphasize on the Black Metal-ish parody but the band insisted they never was an emperor in Austria but dukes and that’s how the title came in the end.

Keep Calm

Along with the EP, we decided to release some new merch. but, instead of just having an “artwork T-shirt”, we came with something more… suitable… for them and their love for memes: a derivation of the “Keep Calm” meme that, with its crown, was quite related to the “Dukes” of the EP and, with the “Disembowel Everybody” we came with, is working well with the “Derangement” aspect of things. Yet, what people didn’t really notice is that it somehow mimicks the Austrian flag with the red print (with the band logo and EP title) on the sleeves forming the top red stripe, the white text in the middle standing for the center white strpe and the red “Verybody” at the bottom being for the bottom red stripe of the Austrian flag.

Reprint, reissue?

All of those releases so far are all limited editions yet, when they’d all be soldout, we might consider reissuing them altogether as somekind of “discography” compilation but, meanwhile, let’s hope the band will be more productive than they’re used to and finally come with their debut full-length at long last!

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